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Cheerleader vs. Psycho: A Battle of the Sexes

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Average Everygirl #32, Arch-nemesis encounters: Prissy vs. Mega | Panel 1: The narrator says, "Totally Everyguy's arch-nemesis, Mega Villain, has built a death ray." Mega, with a crazy smirk, declares, "I will destroy all life on Earth." | Panel 2: Prissy Rival appears in frame, scowling and saying, "Hey! What gives? This guy gets a death ray?! What do I get?" Mega replies, "Don't you have minions?" | Panel 3: The frame shifts to show a trio of stoic cheerleaders at Prissy's side. Still scowling, she gestures to them and says, "A cheerleader posse is not 'minions.'" Mega replies, "They're pretty scary in their own right." | Panel 4: Prissy extends her hand to him and says, "Hand over the death ray, Mega-Dork, or I'll jump-kick your face." Mega, looking askance as though rethinking his life choices, says, "…I think the world might be safer if I keep it."
This particular installment of Average Everygirl is, of course, pure silliness. Or is it?

Cheerleaders are pretty dang strong. They have to be to accomplish all of the lifts and flips and back handsprings and whatnot. Plus there’s all that running and dancing and… y’know… cheering. The more I’ve contemplated it, the more convinced I am that a cheerleader could make a pretty awesome villain. So, when one appears in that role, are bullying and humiliation the typical calling cards of her villainy? Why not racketeering or gun running? Is it because she dedicates too much of her life to physical prowess already?

On the other hand, maniac genius inventor-villains have spent the lion’s share of their time experimenting, usually in a lab with neutral-colored walls and fluorescent lighting. There probably hasn’t been much bench-pressing in their past. Yet, the minute these glorified nerds get a ray gun and a cape, they’re somehow prime physical specimens, ready to crush the world. Their villainy takes the form of death and mayhem—in addition to any psychological elements, depending on how intelligent a character the villain is supposed to be.

Sometimes, the psychological warfare of a lesser female villain renders her more hated than the all-out genocide of a major male villain. (See Dolores Umbridge vs. Lord Voldemort for a prime example of this.) Sometimes, when poorly executed, it renders her into a caricature.

Beyond the cheerleader: female villain tropes

Women in general are physically weaker than men, so it makes some sense to gear a female villain’s evil-doings more towards the psychological end of the physical-psychological spectrum. If you’re going to pit a cheerleader against a lab-chair jockey in a physical fight, though, my money’s on the cheerleader.

Unfortunately, when a physically powerful female villain does come on scene, more often than not the story poses her as a sex object: super hot, super fit, and wearing super tight clothing that reveals every curve and dimple.

And in the event that she’s not impossibly attractive, she’ll probably be repulsive beyond all measure. Girl-as-Object doesn’t apply only to female protagonists.

The best female villains, though, are the ones who don’t have to pull on a spandex bodysuit to get attention. They can employ a mix of physical and psychological assaults against their victims. They are clever, devious, manipulative, self-serving, and they use their “weaker sex” stereotype to its full advantage. In other words, they’re fully rounded characters instead of flat, uninspiring Mean Girls.

And we need more of them, just as we need more level-headed female protagonists.

Really, why should men get to have all the fun?