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Love Is Such a Trial When You’re Perfect

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Average Everygirl #17: MarySue encounters the Love Triangle | Panel 1: MarySue, perfect and sparkly and smiling, stands beside a lackluster Average. Opposite them, the Hot Guy bashfully says, "MarySue, I love you so much! You complete me! You're so beautiful and talented and witty!" | Panel 2: Totally Everyguy joins the group, saying with hope, "MarySue, I love you so much! You are my angel! You're so wonderful and smart and unique!" | Panel 3: Together, the two boys declare, "You must choose between us, MarySue! NOW!" MarySue, with a cheerful shrug, says, "Okay! I choose both!" | Panel 4: Totally and the Hot Guy look stupidly happy. Average, with a blank expression, says, "Wait. That was an option?" to which MarySue replies, "Not for you, dear."

Okay, so our perfect MarySue doesn’t always end up with both her triangle love interests. Sometimes she does have to choose one candidate over the other. If Character B wins the battle for her heart, Character C has three options:

  1. Accept it with dignity and deference. Reflect on how he wasn’t good enough for MarySue to begin with so the reader doesn’t have to feel bad for him.
  2. Pair off with a minor character so the reader doesn’t have to feel bad for him.
  3. Become a villain so the reader doesn’t have to feel bad for him. Because he was really a jerk who didn’t deserve MarySue in the first place.

You may have noticed a trend.

When MarySue appears in a plot, the reader should not feel bad for anyone but her. She gets all the feels, people. And choosing between B and C is, like, totes one of the most difficult things she’s ever done in her life. They are both so wonderful, and she would never want to hurt a soul (unless she’s showcasing her mad fighting skillz, yo), and this choice is tearing her up and why can’t you see how BROKEN and DISTRESSED AND IT’S SO ANGSTY!1!! HOW CAN SHE GO ON WITH ALL THIS PAIN??!?

Ahem.

Perfect Has its Privileges

When it comes to relationships, MarySue gets away with all kinds of shenanigans that Average Everygirl couldn’t touch. In some ways the Love Triangle Scenario itself might be indicative of a MarySue character: someone who is so effortlessly perfect that they attract multiple love interests. Or maybe I just think it’s a MarySue characteristic because I’ve never seen its equal in real life.

*shrugs*

For the record, MarySue is not always a girl. Back when I first encountered this term, people called the boys Gary Stu, but I’ve also seen Larry Stu, Marty Stu, Marty Sam, etc. I like MarySue as the gender-neutral term. Less confusion, and they’re all cut from the same cloth anyway.

And that’s enough of this silliness for today.